Happy Mother's Day Mommy

Mom Far Right

Last week I was a panelist for The Boston Club where the topic was “The Whole Leader”. The facilitator had us recall moments in our journeys as women, mothers, sisters, wives and leaders when we had to make choices and call upon our resilience to support ourselves and the colleagues and employees who rely on us to lift and lead them.

One of the questions I had to answer brought back the memory of when my mom passed away while I was out of the country about to open as a keynote speaker for the largest wine auction in the world, The Nederberg Charity Wine Auction in Stellenbosch, South Africa.

When my husband called to say she had passed, I was devastated. I wanted to get on a plane and go home to be with her. My husband said why come home, I’ll keep her here for you when you return. This is an opportunity of a lifetime and your mother would not want you to leave. She would say think about your future and how this fits in.

So I stayed but it was hard. I knew that my mother would have been so proud of me.

Six years earlier, my mom had a massive stroke on the operating table during what was considered a routine angioplasty. My mom never woke up again. They fixed her heart but we lost her mind that day.

My mom was everything to me and to this day I still can’t think of her without angst in my stomach because I never got to stay goodbye or tell her I loved her before the surgery. Why? Because the surgery was so routine, so they said. I decided to wait and go the next day so I could stay with her and take care of her after. I still regret that decision to this day.

I know my mom knew how much I loved her because we talked almost daily. We argued, laughed and shared recipes together. My mom loved to entertain and cook. She spent hours cutting out recipes from the multiple newspapers she read weekly. I would share what I found and we bonded over these times. I still use and share these recipes.

She was also my role model when it came to work ethic. She spent 35 years in the government as the chief of staff to a one star general at the DCSC in Columbus, Ohio. My mom was divorced from my father and raised me and my brother alone. But that didn’t stop her from be attentive to her own career. It was hard for women in her time but she was feisty and spoke up for herself. I guess that’s where I get it from.

Mom I miss you dearly. Margaret would be 103 years old if she were alive today but I can still hear her saying “You are smart and you can do it”.

When I was about ten years old I wondered why she sent me to *Lazarus Charm Class, but I am so glad she did. She would always say “Mind your manners” “Put your napkin on your lap” “Elbows off the table” “Look me in the eye when I am talking to you” and remember “You can learn something from everyone you meet”. These lessons and wisdoms are still what I live by today.

*Lazarus Department Store - Columbus, Ohio (A Federated Department Store)

Lazarus Department Store in Columbus was known for hosting etiquette, modeling, and “charm” style classes for young women and teens during the mid-20th century. Especially from the 1950s through the 1970s. These programs were often seasonal and tied to fashion shows, back-to-school events, debutante preparation, and holiday social etiquette.